Question: Many people, especially women, are lax about washing mayim acharonim. Is there justification for their practice?
Discussion: Mayim acharonim was instituted by Chazal for one of two reasons:
There is a concern that Sodomite salt, which can cause blindness, might be mixed into a person’s table salt. If the salt granules remain on the fingers after a meal and come in contact with one’s eyes, it could lead to blindness. Therefore, one must wash his hands to negate this risk.48 Although the concern of Sodomite salt is no longer prevalent, there are other salts which can also cause blindness.49 According to this reason, one can even wash after Birkas Hamazon.50
After eating, a person’s hands are dirty with residue from the food, and it is improper to bentch with unclean hands.51
Some Rishonim52 write that it is not customary to wash mayim acharonim today. They explain that Sodomite salt is no longer found in our salts.53 Additionally, people nowadays are not particular about food residue that remains on their hands after eating; therefore, having such residue on their hands during bentching is not considered disrespectful. They qualify, though, that a person who is fastidious about cleanliness and always washes his hands at the end of a meal, is indeed obligated to wash before bentching.
Shulchan Aruch,54 in his primary ruling, states that washing mayim acharonim is obligatory. However, he adds that some do not have the custom of washing mayim acharonim.55 While Shulchan Aruch does not explicitly condemn or condone their practice,56 many Acharonim57 assert that one should not adopt this leniency, and the halachah follows their view.58 Additionally, according to the teachings of Kabbalah,59 there are other esoteric reasons for mayim acharonim, which are timeless.
The reasons for mayim acharonim are not gender-specific and apply to both men and women. Therefore, many Poskim rule that women are also obligated to wash mayim acharonim.60
As a justification for those women who do not wash, some say they rely on the above-mentioned Rishonim, who are lenient about mayim acharonim.61 Although there is certainly a reason to be stringent and wash, women never accepted this practice upon themselves.
Another possible explanation for why some women do not wash is that they are careful not to eat with their hands. Since their hands are clean even after the meal, there is no reason for them to wash mayim acharonim.62
48 Chullin 105b.
49 Rabbeinu Yonah, Berachos 40b (Rif folio), ד"ה ואי based on Rambam, Berachos 6:3.
50 Rabbeinu Yonah Berachos 40a (Rif folio), s.v. Ve’heyisem.
51 Berachos 53b. See Rabbeinu Yonah ibid. who explains the practical differences between the two reasons.
52 Tosafos, Berachos 53b, ד"ה והייתם Chullin 105a, ד"ה מים Rosh, Berachos 8:6; Mordechai, Berachos 207; Hagahos Maimoni, Berachos 6:3.
53 Apparently, they were not concerned about other salts causing blindness.
54 181:1.
55 181:10.
56 See also Salmas Chaim 173 who writes not to object where people do not wash mayim acharonim even when they are among those who have the custom to wash, in order to avoid conflict.
57 Cited in Mishnah Berurah 180:22.
58 Mishnah Berurah ibid.; Kaf Hachaim 181:1; Aruch Hashulchan 181:5.
59 Zohar, Parshas Terumah 154b, cited in Kaf Hachaim 181:1.
60 R’ Y.S. Elyashiv cited in Vezos Haberachah 14, p. 137; R’ S. Z. Auerbach cited in Halichos Bas Yisrael 3, footnote 11; Salmas Chaim 174. This also seems to be the opinion of Aruch Hashulchan ibid. See also Vezos Haberachah ibid., who cites R’ M. Eliyahu who asserts that since women are generally fastidious about cleanliness and wash after eating, they cannot rely on the Rishonim who are lenient regarding mayim acharonim.
61 Shevet Halevi 4:24. See also Halichos Bas Yisrael ibid., citing R’ Y. Mertzbach who recalled that the custom among families in Germany was that women did not wash mayim acharonim.
62 Mor Uketziah 181.