ואיך ישמעני פרעה ואני ערל שפתים

And how will Pharaoh listen to me, I have blocked lips

 The awesome moment of Hashem’s great reveal to Moshe Rabbeinu had occurred. It was at that time that Hashem charged him with the great shlichus of appearing in front of Pharaoh to discuss redeeming the Bnei Yisroel from the land of Mitzrayim. Shockingly, Moshe’s response was that he was unfit for the job. לא איש דברים אנכי וגו' כי כבד פה וכבד לשון אנכי (ד' י')- “I am not a man of words… for I am heavy of mouth and heavy of speech.” Surely, with such a defect, ואיך ישמעני פרעה ואני ערל שפתים- I have blocked lips, so how will Pharaoh listen to me.

Moshe argued so strongly to the point that ויחר אף ה' במשה- The anger of Hashem burned in Moshe. Hashem then accepted the argument and replied that “Aharon your brother will surely speak, and he will be a mouth for you to Pharaoh and to the people.

The meforshim ask about this back and forth with Hashem. Moshe knew that Hashem was the “kol yachol”, and in a matter of less than a second, Hashem could heal him. So why didn’t Moshe say that he would accept the job but that he needed to be healed in order to accomplish his mission? Furthermore, if it was seemingly so important to Hashem that Moshe be the messenger, and not Aharon, so why didn’t Hashem just say that He would heal Moshe instead of suggesting to use Aharon?

The Drashos Haran (Drush 3- ד"ה ולזאת) answers that the hashgacha pratis of this matter was that Hashem wanted Moshe to not have a clear voice. If he spoke well, the people might say that it was Moshe Rabbeinu’s great skills as a master orator. “Ooh the golden voice of Moshe; the perfect wit and wisdom; that ability to sway even a Pharaoh with just the right words.” But with a speech defect, that mistake will not be made. Clearly, the exodus of Mitzrayim would only be because Hashem decreed that it should be so. Furthermore, when the Yidden would choose to accept the Torah from Moshe, it would be due to the emes of the Torah and not because Moshe gave an awe-inspiring keynote speech with some great stories and perhaps even a funny joke as an opening line.

From the perspective of a frum yid, looking at the world’s current events, the yad Hashem that orchestrated everything is quite obvious. No one thinks that the newest appointee overcame all odds due to his own tzidkus. Hashem has a plan and we need to be ma’amin in it. Undoubtedly, we must keep in mind at all times that לב מלכים ביד ה '.

Another answer the meforshim offer is that indeed, had Moshe davened to Hashem to be healed, Hashem would have done so. But he never asked! K’vayachol, Hashem waits on standby for our tefillos, wanting to fulfill our requests. Hashem is a מטיב and He so desires to do good things for us, but the condition is that, He wants us to ask.

So why didn’t Moshe ask? The Ramban (ד' י') writes something incredible: Let us recall the story (שמו"ר א' כו') of how Moshe received the speech defect. As a small child on the lap of Pharaoh, Moshe reached for the king’s crown and placed it on his head. The king’s magicians saw this as an omen- one day this child would challenge the throne. There would be no choice but to kill him. But maybe it was all an innocent mistake? Perhaps it was just a case of a small child reaching for something shiny? Yisro was there as well. He suggested a litmus test to see if Moshe was old enough to differentiate between gold or burning hot coals. As Moshe was actually reaching for the gold, the Malach Gavriel saved his life by pushing his hand towards the coals. Moshe grabbed the coal, and due to the heat, he quickly brought his hand and the coal to his mouth, thus burning his tongue and mouth, and impairing his speech.

The Ramban comments that because the speech defect came about through a neis, Moshe was unwilling to ask Hashem for it to be removed. Moshe wanted a constant reminder that he was the recipient of Hashem’s kindness. That desire was so strong that he was even willing to give up on the opportunity to be a shliach of Hashem.

The Mussar haskil here is great. We are constantly the recipients of tremendous chesed and even nissim from Hashem. The way of the world (human nature) is that as time passes by, we tend to forget things, whether willingly or not. While forgetfulness is a gift and allows one the ability to move on, Moshe Rabbeinu teaches us that chesed, and especially from Hashem, is meant to never be forgotten.

Many years ago, a baal habus that I know was driving his car, and suddenly a yeshiva bochur drove his bicycle straight into him. The hood of the car was dented. I pointed out the dent to the baal habus so that he could get it fixed. I may have even told him that it was not bakovodik for him to drive around with the dent. But he smiled and told me that he did not want to forget so quickly the neis that had just occurred.

The Meor V’Shemesh (Parshas Yisro) writes that this concept of always keeping the chesed of Hashem in front of us is not only for gashmiyus. Every person in their life experiences a moment where there is a tremendous sense of hisorerus from above. Suddenly a feeling of yearning for Hashem; a moment of intense tefillah and/or limud hatorah; a desire to perform a mitzvah with the proper kavanah; a flash of deveikus and closeness. That feeling is a chesed that has no parallel. If one is wise and can keep the chesed seared in the memory, that feeling can be drawn upon at any time to elevate oneself even in the darkest or most uninspiring moment. Similarly, if we can keep the chesed that Hashem performs in our lives constantly in front of us, our entire perspective will change for the better.

Good Shabbos,  מרדכי אפפעל