QUESTION: My father asks me to pass the plate of cookies, but I know that his doctor instructed him to watch his sugar. If I don’t listen to my father, he becomes angry and says I am being disobedient. Must I listen to my father even though I know it is bad for him?

ANSWER: Sefer Chasidim (234) writes that even if a parent orders a child to bring food which endangers the parent and swears that they will otherwise never forgive the child, the child may still not bring their parents something which might endanger them. The Mahari Malcho (cited by the Birkei Yosef YD 240:15) deduces from the wording of the Sefer Chasidim that only if the food presents a potentially life-threatening danger must the child not listen. However, if the food does not present a life-threatening danger, even though it is harmful for the parent, the child must listen. However, Yad Shaul (240:11) understood that the intent of the Sefer Chasidim was to forbid serving any food that is harmful to the parent. Sefer Kol Gadol (54) also agrees that the child should not listen in any case of harm. He explains that the child is not violating kibud av since the intent of the child is not to disobey his father but rather concern for his father’s well-being.

____________________________________________________

The Gerald & Karin Feldhamer OU Kosher Halacha Yomis is dedicated to the memory of Rav Yisroel Belsky, zt"l, who served as halachic consultant for OU Kosher for more than 28 years; many of the responses in Halacha Yomis are based on the rulings of Rabbi Belsky. Subscribe to the Halacha Yomis daily email here.