Many Poskim, including the Beiur Halachah in a very lengthy discussion, detail the exact order of priority for the recital of Kaddish.183 It is evident from these Poskim that ideally, Kaddish is not to be recited by one more than one person at a time. Indeed, many Poskim do in fact rule explicitly that only one person may recite Kaddish at a time.184 However, there are many Poskim who disagree and rule that multiple mourners may recite Kaddish together,185 and the widespread custom follows these Poskim.186 When more than one mourner is reciting Kaddish, it is important that all the mourners recite it aloud in unison,187 and some Poskim recommend that they stand near each other to ensure this uniformity.188
Although the issue of priority is not relevant for Kaddish for those whose custom is to allow multiple mourners to recite Kaddish simultaneously, the complicated discussion regarding priority remains relevant for a similar circumstance. It is not uncommon to find more than one mourner who wishes to serve as chazzan in the same minyan, and it is important to determine which mourner is entitled to this position at any given time. Indeed, Beiur Halchah makes clear that the halachos governing priority for both of these matters are comparable. Now, some Poskim maintain that it is improper to divide a large minyan into two in order to enable a second mourner to serve as chazzan.189 However, other Poskim do not object to this practice.190 If the custom of the shul is to allow this practice, the chiyuvim may be allowed to form their own minyan, alleviating the need to prioritize one chiyuv over the other. However, this is not always a practical solution and may lead to minyanim that lack proper decorum.191 Thus, it is important to determine the correct order of priority between chiyuvim.
Before clarifying the actual order of priority, it is necessary to first understand a number of general rules that govern these halachos:
It is a mitzvah for a congregation to allow any chiyuv, even a guest or non-member, to serve as chazzan.192
A chiyuv who has priority according to halachah should not readily relinquish his right to be the chazzan, for the right is not his to surrender; rather, it belongs to the soul of his parent. If, however, the other mourner will be greatly distressed, one may give up his right.193
A chiyuv who does not have priority according to halachah but intimidates or forces another mourner to give up his rights to him, is described as “gaining nothing for the soul of his parent, nor detracting from any merit that was due to the other mourner.”194
When there are several mourners of equal status, they should divide the tefillos among themselves in a fair and equitable manner. Since Shacharis may be divided into parts – as a separate chazzan may lead the service from Ashrei-Uva Letzion, there can be up to four chiyuvim dividing the three daily tefillos.195
Several brothers, even though they are davening for the same parent, have equal rights, as individual mourners, to serve as chazzan.196
A mourner who davens regularly in one shul, but whose opportunities to serve as chazzan will be curtailed because of other chiyuvim, is neither required nor advised to switch shuls during his eleven months of mourning. On a yahrtzeit of a parent, however, one should see to it that he does serve as chazzan, even if this means davening elsewhere.197
One who is in mourning for both his father and mother does not have more priority than one who is mourning for one parent.198 The custom does not give priority to one who is a mourner for his father over one who is a mourner for his mother.199
A grandson should serve as chazzan if his grandparent died without leaving over sons. If there are other chiyuvim, they have priority over the grandson, but he should be allowed to serve as chazzan as part of a rotation.200
A primary determination of priority is the membership status of the chiyuvim, as a chiyuv who is a member takes priority over one who is not a member. The following guidelines are set forth by the Poskim to determine member and non-member status:
A member is one who pays membership dues, is employed by the congregation, or is a regular mispallel in this shul,201 but is assessed by its administration as being exempt from membership dues.202
An unmarried son of a member also has the status of a member. However, an adult son who is a non-member does not inherit the member status of a deceased parent, even if it is that parent for whose merit he wishes to serve as chazzan.
Any local resident who is not a member of this particular congregation is considered to be a non-member. However, any non-resident of the city retains the status of a guest who has certain rights.203
If one is a member in a shul which has multiple minyanim, he retains rights of priority for all the minyanim.204
The primary factor determining the order of priority is the chiyuv period of the mourner. There are five periods:
Shivah – The first seven days from the time of burial of a parent. Typically, one is not allowed to leave his house to go to shul during shivah; thus, a mourner during shivah does not usually come into conflict with other chiyuvim.205 However, on the seventh day after Shacharis, the restrictions of shivah are lifted, so the halachos of priority are applicable for Minchah on the seventh day. Additionally, the restrictions of shivah may be curtailed by the arrival of Yom Tov; however, the priority status of a mourner in shivah continues.206
Sheloshim – The first thirty days after the burial of a parent. Here, as well, even if Yom Tov curtails the restrictions of sheloshim, the mourner retains the priority status of sheloshim.
First year – A mourner during the eleven months following the burial day of a parent. While some Poskim recommend that one who is in the twelfth month of mourning serve as chazzan, he has no priority over other chiyuvim.207
Yom Hafsakah – The day on which the eleven-month period of being a chiyuv ends. This is calculated from the day of burial.208
Yahrtzeit – The anniversary of a parent’s day of death.209
Besides for the yom hafsakah, which is given priority because the mourner will no longer be a regular chiyuv, priority is determined based on the effect that the chiyuv will have on the afterlife of the deceased by serving as chazzan. On a yahrtzeit, special priority is also given to protect the mourner on a day which can be detrimental to his mazal (“spiritual protectedness”).210
The following rules of priority apply to chiyuvim of comparable membership status (i.e., member vs. member, non-member vs. non-member, guest vs. guest):
In the atypical case that a mourner during shivah comes to shul, he has priority over all other chiyuvim.
One who is in the middle of sheloshim has halachic priority over all other chiyuvim, and basic halachah gives him priority over a yahrtzeit as well.211 However, it has become customary to allow one who has yahrtzeit to serve as chazzan since he cannot fulfill his obligation on a different day.212
One who has yahrtzeit has priority over one who is in the year of mourning, even on the yom hafsakah. Although many have a custom to serve as chazzan for Ma’ariv on the motzei Shabbos preceding a yahrtzeit, one who is in the eleven-month period has priority over one who has yahrtzeit the coming week.213
One who has a yom hafsakah has priority over one who is in the middle of the eleven months.
The following rules of priority apply between a member and a guest:
A member who has yahrtzeit has priority over a guest who has yahrtzeit or is in sheloshim.
A member who is in sheloshim has priority over a guest who has yahrtzeit.214
A guest who has yahrtzeit or is in the middle of sheloshim has equal rights to a member who is in middle of the eleven months.
A guest who has a yom hafsakah has priority over a member who is in middle of the eleven months.
183 See Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 376:4, and Beiur Halachah 131:1, קנטרס מאמר הקדישים. Unless otherwise noted, the rules of priority in this discussion are sourced in this Beiur Halachah and in Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 26.
184 See Teshuvos Chasam Sofer, Orach Chaim 159; Teshuvos Binyan Tziyon 122; Dinim Vehanhagos Chazon Ish 4:7.
185 Chayei Adam 30:7; Teshuvos Divrei Igeres 7, cited by Pischei Teshuvah, Yoreh Deah 376:6; see also Tesuhvos Chasam Sofer, Yoreh Deah 345.
186 See Gesher Hachaim I, 30, 10:12; Igros Moshe, Yoreh Deah IV, 60:1; Teshuvos Vehanhagos I:103. This was always the custom of Sephardic communities, and R’ Ya’akov Emden in his siddur (Dinei Aleinu VeKaddish Yasom) praises their custom as avoiding discord. This custom is also discussed by Mishnah Berurah 55, note 4, and does not criticize it; see Beis Baruch 30:26 for a discussion of the view of Mishnah Berurah on this matter. [In communities that follow the rulings of the Chazon Ish, and in certain yeshivos, only one mourner at a time recites Kaddish.]
187 Gesher Hachaim I, 30, 10:12; Teshuvos Vehanhagos II:42. [If the mourners finish within toch kedei dibbur (i.e., the time it takes to say Shalom alecha rabi umori, “Peace unto you, my master and teacher”) of each other, the congregation may respond either after the first or last mourner reciting Kaddish. If, however, there is a larger discrepancy in timing between the mourners, one should respond to each of them (Mishnah Berurah 55, note 4).
188 Tzitz Eliezer IX, 15:2.
189 Igros Moshe, Yoreh Deah IV, 61:4; Halichos Shlomo, Tefillah 5:1; 18:8. See also Tefillah Kehilchasah 24:54, citing R’ Shlomo HaKohen of Vilna.
190 Afrakasta De’anya V:30; Chazon Ish, cited in Ma’aseh Ish V, p. 24; Shraga Hameir VI:9; Tziyunei Halachah, Aveilus, p. 278, citing R’ Yosef Shalom Elyashiv.
191 R’ Shlomo Zalman Auerbach is cited (Halichos Shlomo, Tefillah, 5:1) as allowing this practice only if each minyan will be conducted in an orderly fashion. When possible, he rules that it is best not to split a minyan, as it is proper to daven in a larger minyan due to the dictum of berov am hadras Melech, “The King’s glory is in a multitude of people” (Mishlei 14:28).
192 Mishnah Berurah 53, note 60. It should be noted that in a privately run minyan, the chazzan serves at the discretion of the administrator of the minyan and the standard halachos governing priority therefore do not apply; see Kinyan Torah II:91.
193 Eimek Halachah, p. 143 (Hilchos Aveilus).
194 Pischei Teshuvah, Yoreh Deah 376:7, citing Chasam Sofer, who in turn cites Shev Ya’akov.
195 Igros Moshe, Yoreh Deah IV, 61:5; see also Gesher Hachaim I, 30, 10:2. However, it is reported (Ma’aseh Ish V, p. 24) that the Chazon Ish was against this practice. [It is especially auspicious for a mourner to serve as chazzan for Ma’ariv (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 26:1). Accordingly, a mourner who has a choice of being a chazzan for Minchah or for Ma’ariv should choose Ma’ariv.]
196 Rema to Yoreh Deah 376:4.
197 Halichos Shlomo, Tefillah 18:24; Emes LeYa’akov, Yoreh Deah 376, footnote 224. R’ Yosef Shalom Elyashiv (Koveitz Teshuvos II:9) ruled that a mourner who does daven elsewhere to be able to serve as chazzan is not in violation of Chazal’s dictum not to switch one’s permanent place of prayer.
198 Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 26:16.
199 Divrei Sofrim, Kitzur Hilchos Aveilus 55:53.
200 Magen Avraham 132:2; Pischei Teshuvah, Yoreh Deah 376:7; Halichos Shlomo, Tefillah, 18:15. See Orchos Halachah 51 for a practical way to split the rights.
201 Teshuvos Binyan David 12 cited in Tefillah Kehilchashah 24, note 194 defines “regular mispallel” as one who davens in this shul on Shabbos and Yom Tov on a regular basis.
202 One may become a member even after his chiyuv begins, and will from that time have priority over non-members, so long as he plans on becoming a long-term member (Tefillah Kihilchasah 24, footnote 194, citing R’ Yosef Shalom Elyashiv).
203 “Local resident” is defined as one who has an alternate shul in which to daven.
204 Tefillah Kehilchasah ibid.
205 There is no need to form separate minyanim to accommodate multiple brothers who are during shivah (Halichos Shlomo Tefillah, 18:8). Instead, the right to serve as chazzan should be split between them in an equitable way.
206 If a burial takes place on Chol Hamoed, the mourners do not begin shivah until after Yom Tov. In this case, the mourners have the priority status of shivah throughout Yom Tov. However, the standard custom is that chiyuvim do not serve as chazzan on Yom Tov or Chol Hamoed; see the following Discussion.
207 Igros Moshe, Yoreh Deah IV, 61:17; see also Shevet Halevi III:165. See, however, Chut Shani (Ribis, p. 172) who recommends that a mourner not serve as chazzan during the twelfth month.
208 While there is some confusion in the text of the Beiur Halachah in a situation where there is a substantial break between the day of death and the day of burial, Igros Moshe (Yoreh Deah IV, 61:19) and Shoneh Halachos (132:14) maintain that the yom hafsakah is always to be calculated from the day of burial. See Mateh Ephraim, Dinei Kaddish 3:5 for a dissenting opinion. See also footnote t to Beiur Halachah ad loc. for further discussion.
209 It should be noted that the priority rules apply only to sons observing a yahrtzeit for a parent. Those observing yahrtzeit for other relatives – e.g., a grandfather, father-in-law, wife, etc. – have no priority at all over a son who is a chiyuv or has a yahrtzeit of a parent.
210 See Divrei Sofrim, Aveilus 376:54.
211 Shach, Yoreh Deah 376:10; Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 26:6; Igros Moshe, Yoreh Deah IV, 60:1, 61:20.
212 See Mishhmeres Semachos 33:21.
213 Kinyan Torah II, 91:2.
214 During Shacharis the member leads until Ashrei-Uva LeTziyon and the guest takes over from there.